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relationships Archives - Mom*


Relationships are both the most rewarding and the most challenging aspects of our lives. The trick is learning to fall together instead of apart. When I work with couples or I write about relationships, I pull from my own experience and the wisdom of those who have gone before me. Please know that there is no shame intended in anything I write. I am one of those people who believes that almost any relationship can be salvaged but I also recognize that it is not always safe or healthy to try. I NEVER endorse staying in a relationship with any type of violence.

I have been married to my husband for over 13 years.  No one on the planet has ever made me so happy, or at times so mad, as that man has.  Our journey has had some twists and turns. We’ve survived foster care, our child’s epilepsy, graduate school, and multiple layoffs. There have been times when it seemed like it would be easier to walk away from and I’m so glad we are.

Curt & I

Please note that the information provided here is the opinion of the writer but should not be taken as specific psychotherapy advice.  If you are struggling, consider reaching out to those around you or to a counselor in your area. Nothing here can replace the advice or individualized support from a licensed therapist.  If you are in North Texas and in need of a counselor, I can be found here.  If you aren’t local, I recommend searching here for someone in your area.

Articles About Relationships

Take some time to look through the relationship articles and always feel free to share. If there is a topic that you would like me to address or you are interested in a public speaking appearance, please feel free to contact me.


Love like Bamboo

When I first told that couple about the plants in my kitchen, they looked a bit confused. I explained though, that love is like bamboo. It really wants to survive but it needs some attention if it’s going to make it. When you first come to therapy or you tentatively hold out a proverbial olive branch after weeks, months or even years of fighting, that is like the first time you give those wilted plants the water they so desperately need.

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Epilepsy, relationships

Leave the diagnosis at home this Valentine’s Day

If you are the parent of a child with special needs, you are likely very well aware of the divorce statistics for our cohort. Our marriages are significantly more likely to end than our peers with healthy children. It just seems cruel that the disorders that try to steal our children attack our marriages too. The truth is though we can experience stress levels similar to those of soldiers in combat and that puts strain on even the healthiest relationships. Our marriages aren’t doomed though. We just need to understand what we are facing and protect our relationships while we weather the storm.

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motherhood, parenting, relationships

The Difference Between Mommy Guilt and Mommy Shame

Go ahead and clutch your pearls but I’m going to say it, mommy guilt is not always a bad thing. Guilt lets me know when I may have done something wrong. When I feel guilty for something that I am actually responsible for, and I feel it in an appropriate intensity, I can learn from my mistakes and become a better parent. The problem is sometimes mommy guilt turns into mommy shame and that is harmful.

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