Tag: parenting

adoption, Special Needs

Parenting when you’re stuck in the mud

I am a horse trainer’s daughter so the majority of my life has been lived in the country.   When I was little, we lived on a ranch with a horse pasture just outside our front door.  I had tons of adventures, and several injuries, in that pasture.  My brothers and I built an obstacle course for our bicycles there and…

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Counseling, Epilepsy, parenting, PCDH19, Special Needs

7 tips for parenting special needs siblings

I am writing this post from the Starbucks in our children’s hospital. For once, I’m not here with Alyssa. She is spending this rainy, Saturday afternoon at a family birthday party while I’m in the city with one of her brothers.  He is here to spend a few hours with kids like him, boys and girls who have siblings with…

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parenting, Travel

Five (more) tips for your best family road trip ever

If your family is like mine, you are over-scheduled and overtired. We try to have family dinners or connect between appointments but maintaining a connection can be hard no matter how much you love the people around you. The best thing about a family road trip is that you are given hours of uninterrupted time to talk and just be together. Do what you can to set your kids up for success and then embrace the adventure. You may actually find that you enjoyed the journey as much if not more than the destination. This week I have five more time tested tricks to having your best family road trip ever. Remember that every family is different but these really do work with my kids. Try them out and keep the ones that work for you.

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parenting, Travel

How to Road Trip with Your Family and Still Love Your Kids

I may sound crazy but I absolutely love road trips.  I spent my adolescence driving to rodeos around the country and I took my oldest son his first road trip when he was 3 months old. There is just something special about seeing the country between vacation destinations. My husband and I have three kids now (5, 7 & 10)…

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Advocacy, parenting

You can’t handle the truth. That’s a problem.

When I see a grieving mother being viciously attacked by strangers after she watched her toddler be stolen by a wild animal, I know that it is not safe to write about my own, lesser struggles. When I see a woman who loses her child in a crowd for a moment, and then almost loses him forever to a gorilla, be held up as an unfit mother undeserving of parenthood, I am afraid that I’ll be destroyed for my own shortcomings. When I read that a mother is told she should have aborted her children and deserves to die because she publishes a rant on sunscreen, I worry that sharing my truth will open my family up to similar terror.

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motherhood, parenting, relationships

The Difference Between Mommy Guilt and Mommy Shame

Go ahead and clutch your pearls but I’m going to say it, mommy guilt is not always a bad thing. Guilt lets me know when I may have done something wrong. When I feel guilty for something that I am actually responsible for, and I feel it in an appropriate intensity, I can learn from my mistakes and become a better parent. The problem is sometimes mommy guilt turns into mommy shame and that is harmful.

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adoption, Epilepsy

Adoption & Epilepsy

I relate to the other parents of children with special needs on many levels but I don’t bear the guilt of having been the one to pass on Alyssa’s genetic disorder or the constant questions of if it was something I did caused her problems. I relate to adoptive parents too but our story isn’t just about adoption anymore. I switch back and forth between groups depending on the support I need at the moment.

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adoption

The Problem with Re-homing

The problem with rehoming, as it currently exists, is that it fails both the children and the adoptive parents. Every time a child is placed with a new family, they suffer a new loss and it becomes harder for them to trust that they will ever be truly loved by anyone. In addition, many of the kids who find themselves in new homes are later abused or abandoned again. With no government or agency oversight to make sure that the new homes are safe for these children, the outcomes can be devastating.

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